A Bad Omen?

So did you ever read that story in high school, I believe it was Hitchcock who made a movie of it, about the birds that turn on mankind and attack anything they can? Ok, well I am a man and I am not ashamed to admit that since I read that story I have been more than a little freaked out by those flying demons. Now I don't know why, but for some reason one of the freaky little fellas has made our front walkway its home over the last few months. It started out with our scarecrow family during October. ( by the way that whole thing about scarecrow's actually being scary must only apply to actual crows and small children because all the other birds in the neighborhood sure as hell weren't scared of them) Anywho, we had those strawmen sitting on the sidewalk and I'll be damned if a little sparrow (or a swallow, or a cardinal, or a freaking condor for all I know--they all look alike to me, as do Egyptians) decided to make my straw stuffed sweat shirt a home. Well when the fall decorations went away the Christmas decorations came out. Our little bird friend had to make a small move from the straw to the garland around the door. For the last month I have been having to change my underwear every time I come home because without fail each time I walk up to the door, that little spawn of Lucifer would dive bomb me.

Well as NORMAL people do, the Christmas decorations went away today--all except the pine wreath Allison convinced me to keep hanging on the door. Big mistake. As we came home tonight and unlocked the door it became very apparent that the rat with wings had once again relocated to the nearest bit of habitat he could find, our wreath. As the door was opened it was as if old Scratch himself had descended into our peaceful home and decided to wreak havoc. Although it was oddly amusing to watch that creepy little creature try and dodge the blades of the ceiling fan in the living room the fun flew right out the window (I know, bad pun) as I realized that my ever faithful wife, who had made a vow to stand at my side no matter what, fled with our small child to the bedroom and shut the door behind her.

I looked at the bird and he looked at me. This was my home and I had to defend it. After getting control of my bodily functions I turned off all the lights and opened the door. Locking myself in the garage I emerged with a weapon that could have only been created by the prompting of the spirit. Armed with my pool skimmer duct taped to the mop handle I was now ready to face this avian anti-Christ that had risen from the underworld if only to torture me. After a few close calls (I swear they aim for the eyes), it was I that was victorious. Slamming the door shut I gave the all clear. Once again I had saved my family from the brink of destruction.....OK OK, so I am a little dramatic, but have you ever had a bird fly in to your house? I mean does that even happen? What the hell? I hope this is not a bad omen for the coming year. Of course the bird was skinny, so perhaps it was a good sign??