Our Trip In Pictures

The sound and light show at the pyramids.

Ally with the Mediterranean Sea at her back

The view from our hotel room on the coast of the Mediterranean in Alexandria

Ally and Jason in the ENORMOUS hall at Karnak.

Whats up with all the stray dogs in Egypt? I felt like I was on the reservation.

A friendly little Egyptian man and Jason at the temple of Hatshepsut. He called me "Casanova" because of my studly facial hair. He too was sporting quite a fine mustache.

Ally and Jason at the entrance to King Tut's tomb in the Valley of the Kings

Jeff and Jason with a view from the top deck of our Nile cruise ship

Ally and I in front of Abu Simbel
Allison walking like an Egyptian at Abu Simbel

Ally giving the ol' Sphinx a smooch

Ally, Jason, Jeff (Allison's Dad), Matt (Ally's Brother) and Linda (Allison's Mom) taking a ride on the camels on top of the Giza plateau

Ally and I at the base of the pyramid of Khafre

There Is No Place Like Home!

When it comes right down to it there really is no place like home. No bed like your own. No toilet you're so comfortable sit upon as the one in your own castle. After 24 hours of travel we arrived back at our palace tonight. We were welcomed by a fresh blanket of snow which was quite odd after waking up in Cairo just yesterday morning. It is good to see Christmas lights on the houses instead of the green lights on top of all the mosques like you see in Egypt. It will take some getting used to not being woken up at 5 in the morning by the call to prayer in Arabic. I know that we didn't post very much while we were on vacation--everyplace you go charges money. We did take a few pictures of the places we went and instead of giving a boring history report of every place we visited, we will just post some pics tomorrow.
It took a minute or two, but Janna finally remembered who we were and was happy to see us (although I don't think she had it too rough with her grandmas while we were gone). I would write more but I have been in 3 different countries today, flown over a dozens more, and now I think its time to take a shower and throw the underwear I have been wearing away.

Egyptian Update

So I guess it is my turn to write...This is Allison. We are on day 5 in Egypt. What a trip! Between countless temples and pyramids, we have been able to see the oldest historical momuments I have ever seen in my life. What is amazing to me is how everything is "preserved" here. In the U.S., artifacts like this would be sealed under air-tight glass cases and lit by top-of-the line lighting. Here in Egypt, everything is out in the air, not roped off-let alone cased-in, and unlit. It is interesting to see these amazing pieces in their "natural habitat", but also a little nausiating to see idiots climb on to the lap of a 4,000 year old statue of Ramses the Great.
One other thing...as we were walking in Luxor this evening, I noticed the uneven ground we we walking on in the dark. In America I can only imagine the amount of time that would last...until a little old lady, or heck, a stupid person would walk through and trip-then sue, never to have a tour in Luxor again.
Well, we are all healthy with only a few cases of the "NILE RIVER RUNS". If you see my child, give her lots of kisses for me-if she still remembers me...Jason keeps telling me she won't. Salam. Goodbye.

The Pyramids!

Today we went and saw the Great Pyramids of Giza. You know, you can see those things in pictures and books, but you never really realize the work and effort that it took to build them. However, while there I did a little digging of my own and yes dad, I found that levitation device that the aliens used to put those ginormous blocks into place. I even bagged it up and I am calling it your Christmas present. Along with a few rocks from the pyramid of Cheops. ( Hey I am American, they expect that dont they?) We also found out that camels are probably the smelliest animal on the face of the earth. And the stink doesn't come off either. By the time we were done with our ride around the pyramids we felt as though the camels had ridden us. And who ever said the Sphinx was huge was wrong. A little disappointed, but still amazed. Oh, and by the way, Linda was right: I do look Arabic or so the Egyptian vendors tell me as they try to sell me their treasures. I guess it's a compliment? We stopped by the Cairo Museum that is right across from our hotel. Half of the worlds history sits in that one building at take it from me, once you have seen one mummy they all look the same. Literally tons and tons of history and it all looks the same. I would still recommend it on your next stop in Egypt. Now I am not going to lie to you, those Egyptians must have been lookers back in the day. Everything from combs to rings and all other sorts of jewelry is on display at the museum. Pretty impressive. By the way we are taking orders for sand and rocks. Yes, that will count as your Christmas present.

How Bazzar!

So let me ask a question: Do I look like MacGyver? Well apparently to the Egyptians I do. Seems like everywhere we went at the local swap meet on Saturday night people thought they were in the midst of a celebrity: Hulk Hogan. Now that I can understand but MacGyver? Didn't he have a mullet? Anywho, yes we safely got into Egypt late Friday night. Everything went well except for the fact that I came to the realization that I am grossly obese. I am telling you they didn't make those airplane seats for Hulk Hogan, thats for sure. Its very strange to see so many people shout "Barack Obama" at you, one fella said he liked him because they were both the same color. However, when you say "George Bush" with a thumbs up their expression quickly becomes sour, Damn Democrats! Ally didn't mind the pushy salesmen though as they showered her with compliments. Well I guess they were compliments. I believe that several times she was offered to leave her fat American husband and join a harem. She declined, thankfully. Her "beautiful eyes" seemed to be the charmer for the dirty little pervert men who wanted to swoon her into the wilds of Cairo. We quickly learned that it pays to be the rude American by simply pushing your way past the salesman, at least you can keep your money in your wallet.

Off We Go!

So what do Frank the hound dog and Janna have in common? Turns out they both prefer Princess' dog food to eat. Hmmmm. I am not quite sure how much puppy chow Janna gets while at her Nana's house, but she seems to be rolling over on command now so I guess that's progress? Ok, bad joke. Anywho, so in case ya didn't know, Ally and myself are getting ready to head out. We are taking a little trip across the pond and over the hill to Egypt. Somehow we got wrangled into taking a 2 week vacation over there with Allison's parents and her brother. Its gunna be tough but I think we'll survive. We are leaving the freezing temperatures of Colorado for the 90 degree weather of Cairo, Alexandria, and whatever they keep the room temperature at on the cruise ship that we'll be sailing up and down the Nile on. 90 degrees may sound pretty good to some of you but I on the other hand tend to sweat ( I refer you to the "What the hell happened to me" post) If we get the chance, we will post pictures of ourselves amid the pyramids and other touristy places that you have your picture taken at with the full intention of making you jealous. We hope it works. And yes, all of our Christmas gifts to you this year will be from our trip. Take heart though, we do spend about a day in Amsterdam and I hear they have some pretty "cool" stuff there. So if I can find enough room in my body cavities, you will all get a special little treat.

P.S.- If we take a dive into the Atlantic, Jackie you get Janna, but you have to take Frank too. Dad you can have all of my expensive books that I never read along with all my debt. Mom, you just make sure Dog Dog lives out his retirement years in comfort. Kassie, well you pretty much have everything already. If the plane crashes but they never find any wreckage, contact a man named Charles Widmore.

Whoop-uh-dee-doo!

Well I figure that Thanksgiving Day is pretty much the same no matter whose home you're in so I will not discuss the happenings. However there is something that is fast becoming commonplace. When I stand up to go to the john (sorry Puckett), nobody ever claps and cheers for me. When I drink from a cup or use a fork to eat with, I never get shouts of acclamation. And when I pick at my toes there isn't a soul in the room impressed at my ability. So then why do babies get all the hype? I can do things much better and faster than Janna, yet nobody really ever seems to notice. It's not that I am jealous, perhaps just a bit under appreciated. I have been doing the self-service bathroom thing for almost 15 years now and do I ever get a "way to go man!"? No sir, I do not.
Now I only bring all this up for fear that sooner rather than later our world will become one where there will be no real achievement. No real acts of triumph. To borrow an idea from Mr. Incredible, since when did rewarding mediocrity become the thing to do? Now I am not saying that that verbal abuse is the way to go. I am just recognizing the fact that going into the back bedroom to take a dump in your pants is not the most impressive thing in the world. Perhaps we should save the clapping for when they walk out to the garage and throw it away, wash their hands, and make me a sandwich themselves. That's all I'm sayin'.............

Smartest baby ALIVE!

Seeing as how I still have a hard time forming complete sentences, she must have gotten her good looks AND her brains from her mother. Allison thinks its pretty exciting that Janna is so close to walking on her own at just over 10 months old. I, on the other hand, can't help but remember that Frank was walking much sooner than this. Hmmmmmm.

Some People's Kids

Boy I tell you what, I hate stupid people. Or as my dad would say "ignorant". In some cases I think both work. Perhaps since its still early in the evening I should use a term that doesn't evoke such strong emotion--how about misinformed? Of course any followers of the insightful Mr. Boortz would just label them the Dumb Masses of America. (That's right, say it real fast now and try not to giggle) Perhaps you may have noticed some of the inspiring signs around your neighborhoods or your towns. Change. In fact not just change, but change we can believe in. (what ever the hell that means) Anywho, I know the election is over and I know that most of you are tired of the same old headlines, but I saw this video a couple of days ago and thought some of you might find it interesting. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mm1KOBMg1Y8

So for the past week and a half this is the scene we get to look at every night from 5-10 pm. Oh and its not just the flashing lights and cheery scene. its the fact the ALL of the lights flash on and off to the rhythm of the carols. Just to let you know, the day before the lights went up, there was an "Obama/Biden" sign in their yard. This is the kind of people we are dealing with here folks.

Thanks for the "Howdy", jerks!

Hey you know what, screw you guys. Whatever happened to common courtesy? Remember the days when you could drive down the road and everyone you saw waved as you waved back? Ok so maybe I don't really remember them either, but that is not the point. The point is that you people are all jerks. That's right, I'll just come right out and say it. I am not ashamed to admit to you that I am a little hurt that you don't leave comments when you come to my blog. Is it because I said your kids were ugly? Well then let me clarify: I meant that your kids are only ugly when they are compared to mine. That's all I was saying. Kennington, you are off the hook (although I seem to remember a time when you didn't claim Utah...you changed man). As for the rest of you, I am SOOO disappointed. You are the kind of people who like to peruse the merchandise but when its time to actually buy you just walk out the store. Don't even for a second think that I am overreacting here either. Just because it's 1:30 in the morning does not mean I don't possess all of my faculties. In fact I'd say that I am at my best at this time of day. Yeah, so what if I stay up half the night spying on you and your families. Does that make me creepy? Ok, perhaps it does. Sure, I could use my hours in the night to "read" books and get "smart", maybe educate myself enough to get a "real job", but why? All I am trying to do is just make sure that my life is happier than all of yours. After all, isn't that what this is all about? Competition? Your damn right it is, and when it comes to being neighborly and saying 'hello' when you drop by, YOU ALL LOSE!

What the hell happened to me?

Back when the Lord looked upon me with joy and happiness. Last I heard he was referring to me as slothful. Ouch!


Ever get that feeling like you're not quite the person you used to be? Ever get the feeling you're twice the person you used to be? To be honest I really don't know what the hell happened to me. One minute I was home from California, lookin' good and driving the women wild and the next thing I know I am sitting further and further away from the keyboard to make room for my stomach. Thinking back on it all I can trace my transformation to one specific moment in time. Ah yes, twas the day my brother-in-law, Sam, introduced me to Tornados at the Summit truck stop. Ya see, that's exactly what those scrumptious deep fried bits of manna from heaven do. They take you away in a whirlwind of delectable goodies and tasty treats and the next thing you know you're pausing to catch your breath before you tie your second boot.


I am not quite sure if 'Ezekiel' is still cool to wear ( I haven't skated in...well...ever), but as soon as I get get into that shirt without having to roll it on one inch at a time I am bringing it back baby!

(I think I am sucking it in here, can you tell?)

Who are we?

Perhaps I ought to say a little about my wife and I. Allison and I met in August 2005. We went to a rodeo together with some mutual friends. There I watched Ally as she fought of the charms and flirtations of my supposed wing man Spencer. Come to think of it I think she did massage his shoulders that night.HMMMMM....anywho, not long after that she met a psychic who told her she would marry a fella who stood 6'4". Well she looked and looked but couldn't find anyone else matching that description so she settled for me. I proposed in Alaska and was very romantic about it. On January 13, 2007 we married in Grand Junction, CO and later that year in May we were sealed in St. George, UT. She teaches choir at a middle school while I clean pet hair and child vomit from mini-vans and farm trucks. We live a very glamorous lifestyle. Last spring I got a wild hair to go to school and since have been attending Mesa State College. Ally is my sugar mama and I don't know what I'd do without her. Plus she is super hot, so that helps too.

P.S.- Look how skinny my head looks in the non-old west picture. Damn. When Ally's mom first saw that picture she thought I was Arabic...huh?

Our Janna

Oh whatever. Don't give me that crap about posting a post about my kid. As I look around at a lot of your blogs out there I have come to the conclusion that you all have some pretty ugly kids. And what is with the overwhelming population of boys? You know a takes a real man to blow the plumbing right off. The whole boys being her age thing could be a serious problem in about 15 years, and just to let you know I WILL be a very protective dad. It was a choice between posting Janna or Frank the dog. Janna won by a lucky flip of the coin. Don't worry though Frank, you will soon have your day. So anyways for those of you who have not yet met her, this is Janna Louise Fuller. Ain't she a doll? She was born a day before her dad's birthday 0n January 16th of this year. Forever more my own birthday will live in her shadow. I think I'm ok with it. She just crossed over 10 months old and if my vision/dream/prophecy holds up that I had while she was in the womb, this month she will be walking. I guess I don't really need to say much more as you're probably already smitten by her pictures.

The cool Mormon thing?

Contrary to popular belief, the world does indeed revolve around me. Or so it would seem as I have just created a website that is solely dedicated to me and mine. As it turns out there is more to this whole internet thing than ebay and dirty pictures. Who'd a thunk it? Anywho.....I guess this is the latest hip thing to do, create a blog. Well, hip for the mormons anyways. Looks like perhaps scrapbooking and stamping colorful scraps of paper have gone the way of all the world. Perhaps this new form of self exploitation has arisen due to the fact that places like myspace and facebook have gotten just a little too racy for the Utah folk. Oh well, its good to know that there is one more venue out there where good wholesome people like ourselves can share all or our personal information so that Uncle Sam (not Janna's uncle Sam) and Big Brother can monitor us. Don't' worry though, according to my dad there are much bigger fish out there to fry than you and I, so feel free to say what you wish.